Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Maggie Gyllenhaal, best known for her role as the disturbed temp in the S&M indie flick Secretary, tried her hand at career suicide last week. Reflecting upon the events of 9/11, Gyllenhaal said, “I think America has done reprehensible things and is responsible in some way.” In response to a torrent of angry criticism following her comments, Gyllenhaal remained defiant, releasing a statement which included this gem: “Not to have the courage to ask these questions of ourselves is to betray the victims of 9/11.”

With that, Ms. Gyllenhaal publicly endorsed the inane logic of radical Islamo-fascist terror groups like Al-Qaeda, then had the audacity to reiterate her sentiments on behalf of the 9/11 victims themselves, all in less than a week. Good job, Maggie! I’m guessing you’ve just finished reading Jane Fonda’s biography.

Friday, April 15, 2005

NEWS FLASH>> Housing Prices Soaring in Baghdad.

When’s the last time you witnessed a housing boom in the heart of a war-torn “quagmire”? Could it be that this is tangible evidence of a steady stream of positive, stabilizing developments in Iraq? Could it be that the learned academics, newsmen, and politicians who opposed unseating Saddam were actually wrong after all? Could it really be? Did the sun rise in the East this morning?

Thursday, April 14, 2005

NEWS FLASH>> California State Treasurer “Schiavos” His Political Career.

On June 30th of last year, after Canadians took to the polls to re-elect the feckless and shady Liberals to yet another term as the nation’s governing party, albeit in a minority capacity, I posited that voters had “an insatiable appetite for governments rife with graft and corruption”, and that a “mass hysterical lunacy” had overtaken the electorate. For this commentary, I caught a lot of flack from relatives of mine who hold the Liberal Party of Canada in great esteem, and were none too pleased to have both their sanity and the integrity of their venerated party called into question. I stood my ground, and was adamant that the myriad scandals of the previous 11 years were ample evidence of misconduct, and that voters who chose to ignore such deeds were mentally incapacitated. Today, I am even more confident that my assessment was dead-on.

For the past several days, testimony before the Gomery Inquiry, which is investigating charges of graft and corruption by the former Chretien government, has been explosive, and the entire nation is glued to what’s now become known at the Sponsorship Scandal. Several former politicos and henchmen have testified that there was widespread malfeasance at various levels involving large sums of federal funds earmarked for public relations efforts aimed at combating separatist forces within Quebec by promoting unity thru federalism. According to those involved, millions of taxpayers’ dollars were laundered thru a network of supposedly pro-federalist advertising agencies, only to end up in the pockets of the Liberal Party itself (*gasp*...say it isn’t so!).

Prime Minister Martin’s response has been two-fold: express disbelief, shock, and anger, then remind everyone that this occurred under his predecessor’s regime, and that it’s all water under the bridge now. His Liberals have taken a considerable hit in public opinion polls, and his minority government could be ousted sooner rather than later as a non-confidence vote in Parliament appears imminent. Curiously, some in the opposition, including those of the rival Conservative Party, are downplaying the prospect of a summer election. From what I can gather, it seems their reticence is based in large part on poll numbers in the all-important electoral battleground of Ontario, the key Liberal Party stronghold. Despite an overall deterioration in support nationwide, the Liberals are not fairing as badly in Ontario as might be expected given the magnitude of the Sponsorship Scandal. Poll averages show the party with an approval deficit of less than 10% to the front-running Conservatives. It’s a rather shallow gap, one which could easily be closed by the well-oiled Liberal machine during a heated election campaign. The poll results beg the obvious question: what the hell is wrong with Ontario voters?

In that June 30th post, I also wrote about the seemingly illogical approach Ontarians have taken towards federal politics. It was while compiling that analysis that I conceived the infamous “mass hysterical lunacy” hypothesis, as I could not find a rational explanation as to why Ontario still voted overwhelmingly for the Liberal Party, despite years of scandal plagued rule, and despite the existence of a unified, cogent alternative for the first time in over a decade. The muted response of Ontario voters to the latest, and perhaps largest, in a long line of Liberal Party scandals only reinforces my theory: there are many voters in Canada that appear to suffer some form of psychosis.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

News Flash>> Wisconsin Mulls Legalized Cat Hunting

What’s all the fuss? Where I come from, “cat hunting” is simply known as “hunting”, indistinguishable from bagging deer, moose, bear, wolf, partridge, or any number of classifiable varmints.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

As the impending Senate battle over the President’s judicial nominations looms ever closer, I find myself growing increasingly peeved at the media’s slanted portrayal of the dreaded “Nuclear Option”, the revocation of Senate rules that permit unfettered filibustering. With the aid of some choice quotes from the usual pack of wobbly Republican Senators, the news has been awash with commentaries condemning the Majority for even considering such an egregious abuse of power.

Amid the Nuclear Hysteria is a conveniently misplaced historical frame of reference. As it stands, the Republican Party has eked out solid majorities in both chambers of Congress for the first time in decades. I say “eked out” because they have barely crossed the minimum threshold to qualify for a "solid" Congressional majority based on conventional standards; they now hold a 10 seat margin in the Senate and a 30 seat margin in the House. To put this information in its historical context, we must examine how the current party divisions of the Senate and House compare to other Congressional delegations over the past 50 years. Here’s how the Democrats faired in securing solid, and oftentimes vast majorities:
Democratic Senate Majorities since 1955 with 10+ Seat Margin:
86th Senate (1959-1961) +30 Democrats
87th Senate (1961-1963) +28 Democrats
88th Senate (1963-1965) +32 Democrats
89th Senate (1965-1967) +36 Democrats
90th Senate (1967-1969) +28 Democrats
91st Senate (1969-1971) +14 Democrats
93rd Senate (1973-1975) +14 Democrats
94th Senate (1975-1977) +22 Democrats
95th Senate (1977-1979) +23 Democrats
96th Senate (1979-1981) +17 Democrats
100th Senate (1987-1989) +10 Democrats
101st Senate (1989-1991) +10 Democrats
102nd Senate (1991-1993) +12 Democrats
103rd Senate (1993-1995) +14 Democrats

Democratic House Majorities since 1955 with 30+ Seat Margin:
85th House (1957-1959) +33 Democrats
86th House (1959-1961) +130 Democrats
87th House (1961-1963) +89 Democrats
88th House (1963-1965) +83 Democrats
89th House (1965-1967) +155 Democrats
90th House (1967-1969) +80 Democrats
91st House (1969-1971) +51 Democrats
92nd House (1971-1973) +75 Democrats
93rd House (1973-1975) +50 Democrats
94th House (1975-1977) +147 Democrats
95th House (1977-1979) +149 Democrats
96th House (1979-1981) +119 Democrats
97th House (1981-1983) +50 Democrats
98th House (1983-1985) +103 Democrats
99th House (1985-1987) +71 Democrats
100th House (1987-1989) +81 Democrats
101st House (1989-1991) +85 Democrats
102nd House (1991-1993) +100 Democrats
103rd House (1993-1995) +82 Democrats
In stark contrast, here’s the same data on the Republican Party:
Republican Senate Majorities since 1955 with 10+ Seat Margin:
105th Senate (1997-1999) +10 Republicans
106th Senate (1999-2001) +10 Republicans
109th Senate (2005-2007) +10 Republicans

Republican House Majorities since 1955 with 30+ Seat Margin:
109th House (2005-2007) +30 Republicans
Can any rational individual argue that the overwhelmingly Democratic Congress of the last 50 years didn’t exercise its full authority to secure left-wing judges and policy initiatives? Who could seriously contend that power was applied prudently, and in a manner ever so mindful of the interests of the fragile Republican minority, as the current Democratic minority implores of the Republicans? Excuse my vulgarity, but give me a f**king break! If Democrats howl this loudly over a measly 10 seat Senate majority, imagine the blood-curdling screams if the Republicans had won a massive +30 seat margin.

As the saying goes, “To the victor go the spoils.” You’ve had your kick at the can, Dems. Time to toss it over gracefully. Drop your filibuster madness and let the grown-ups take over for while.

Monday, April 04, 2005

My basket-case clients in Florida have kept me busy at work of late. Consequently, I've been far to busy to procrastinate by blogging. To keep you all happy until I can ruminate once again, here's some pics of Zeke.



The King