Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Is it fashionable to leave ones front yard looking like a junkyard garage sale? Is this the next hip trend Middle America should adopt from the ghettos, like the advent of gangsta rap as a mainstream cultural force? I can't help but think this could very well be the new fad to sweep the nation very soon, what with all the ramshackle houses I see on my morning transit ride through the gross underbelly of West Phoenix. What else could explain this collective mess, if not for the possibility that it might actually be cool to stack an old refrigerator and a urine-stained couch on the front lawn?

A liberal acquaintance of mine suggested that there is no cool trend afoot. She said I'm being too hard on the pride-impaired homeowners along my bus route. "They can't be expected to keep their houses in good repair because they are poor," she offered with a derisive sniff. Of course, she would hear no further argument. These people are poorer than most, so they are absolved of even the most minor of responsibilities in the eyes of bleeding-heart liberals.

I don't know, but it seems to me that the decision to place your broken furniture and appliances in the front of your home for all to see, rather than in the backyard to spare the neighborhood from enduring a grotesque eyesore, is, after all, a freebie: "Hmm...this toilet is busted...should I put it next to the driveway or in the shed out back? I'm poor, so I guess it goes out front with the old water heater and TV..."

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